Until The Very End
by Originals143
Summary: Sometimes, even your heart realizes it can never achieve what it longs for. The moment when you end up finding solace in that one smile of happiness on their face and hold on to it for eternity. AU. A series of one-shots on one-sided attractions, with each chapter dedicated to a different character.
1. Chapter 1 : Holding On and Letting Go

**|: Until The Very End :|**

**A/N : **PR, it's finally here! :-D For those who don't know, Karan is the character played by Vidyut Jamwal in the movie 'Commando' and in the CID episode 'CID Aur Commando'. I feel he shared a great chemistry with Purvi, who was also supposedly his friend, which was revealed towards the end of the episode.

Credits : James Potter and Severus Snape (Harry Potter) Duh! Inspirations are all my friends from this fandom, who don't have an issue with my utter craziness and highly offensive and abnormally different thinking.

Here you go..

..

/\/\

..

Simplicity.

The plain, unornamented simplicity in her was what left him thinking. The kind that is so subtle, yet so intimidating, so captivating. Her simplicity had always proven to be the greatest asset she possessed.

It seemed to synchronize perfectly with her beauty – which she was obviously unaware of.

That was another thing he loved about her. The fact that only his eyes could see how beautiful she was. They showed him a different picture of hers which the rest of the world could never imagine.

Crashing down on the sofa, he pulled his gun out of his waist-band and tossed it aside. He closed his eyes momentarily to release the stress. Needless to say, it was her face which appeared as though the back of his eyelids were waiting to push it down in front of him.

Her face, her pretty smiling face always served as the sole reason to make him forget himself. However, it was the reason which also made him shake hands with the harsh reality that no matter how much he thought about her, how deeply he loved her, it was futile. Until the very end.

No matter how ardently one admires the stars, it remains impossible to reach them. To touch them. To feel them.

His big dark eyes fluttered open as the truth crashed upon him, stinging his lashes with an invisible needle. And once again, reality seemed to take a headstand over his temporary dreamland of fantasies.

He couldn't recollect how it all started, and when. Was it her smile? Or those eyes? Or simply those flashing dimples which made her stand out in the crowd. He couldn't remember what was it about her that his mind refused to wipe off her thoughts whenever it used to think about her. He couldn't remember the first time his heart had started giving him this nagging feeling whenever he used to be with her.

All he could remember was _her_. She seemed to have taken control over his self, his soul, his life.

The most unfortunate thing for him was, she was unaware of her importance in his life. Unaware of his feelings, his unconditional love towards her. He had ensured she never found out. For it was favourable for both of them.

No matter how hard he tried, he knew he would never be able to get her. Until the very end.

One thing about her which had always fascinated him was, the way she used to care about everyone around her. The way she used to show concern about anyone, whether or not they were in trouble. The way she used to put her soul into helping anyone, whether or not they needed her. He had heard about her helping nature from her fellow colleagues, and the memories of a familiar incident instantly floated in front of him.

"_Thank God, the mid-terms are finally done! I am more than excited for the vacations!" She said, licking at her ice-cream cone as they walked on the footpath towards her house. Chuckling on her statement, he couldn't help but look at her in slight bewilderment._

"_Really, Purvi?" His tone was incredulous. "Considering you have always been the topper of the class, one won't believe you must be eager for the vacations." Scooting slightly close to her side, he whispered in a teasing tone. "No one knows you can think of anything else apart from your books. If you'd have passed that statement in college, I'm sure half the college would have died of a heart-attack!" He winked mischievously, and she glared daggers at him, raising her ice-cream cone near his nose, and threatening to smear it on his face._

"_Karan, you've been repeating this meaningless dialogue at the end of literally every semester, and it has already become way too boring! Would you please come up with new tricks to annoy me?" She said in a dry tone, in contradiction to the wet, melted cream running down her throat._

_He simply smirked, and pulling her arm playfully, sneered in her ears. "You haven't yet seen my ways to annoy you, girl!" He gave out a soft laugh, running ahead, as she gobbled down the cone hurriedly, marching behind him with her fists clenched tightly._

"_Come back here, you jerk!" She shouted, her long silky hair bobbling to the sides as she ran. _

_Once they had reached her neighbourhood, he stopped running, and holding on to the fence, bent up to catch his breath. Needless to say, he earned a hard smack in the shoulder, as she came behind. "Easy, Purvi.. easy!" He panted, and she shook her head, opening her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a soft voice coming from a distant._

_Purvi smiled, as she instantly recognized the voice, running in its direction. Bending down considerably, she leaned over and pulled something from under the fence. "Meow!" The creature purred in a mild tune, as Purvi held her tightly to her chest, smoothening her fur. "Coco! Hi, baby!" She spoke in a soft tone, gently caressing the white-and-ginger feline, who closed her eyes as a gesture of showing affection._

"_Hi Coco!" Karan grinned lovingly at the cat, massaging her head and ears, who momentarily looked at him before snuggling closer to Purvi's neck. Holding the cat carefully with one hand, Purvi reached to her jeans' pocket with the other, pulling a small bag of tiny fish sticks, seeing which the cat instantly became interested, and leaned forward to snatch the bag, scratching Purvi's hand in the process._

_Grinning happily, Purvi carefully set the cat down, spreading the sticks in front of her, and knelt down to twiddle her back as she ate._

_Karan, who was watching the entire scene with an amused look on his face, came up to his friend. "This is the thing I like about you, Purvi. How come you are always concerned about everyone associated with you?" He wanted to know._

"_You never know when they would need you, Karan. The least you can do is, be there for them." She smiled up at her friend, as she continued caressing the cat, who had by then finished feasting on the meal. "Meeaa!" The cat showed her gratitude, before scampering off, leaving Purvi smiling at her in affection._

_Seeing the satisfied smile on his friend's face, Karan kept staring at her for a good ten minutes before Purvi snapped her fingers at his face, making him come out of the trance._

Till date, his heart still remembered the warmth which her smile had given him then. Which it always used to give him. He shook his head wondering in amazement how her smile alone had the power to forget his own existence for a while.

When he saw her in a semi-conscious state that day, struggling to set herself free, the first thing he thought was, she hadn't changed. After all those years. After all those days when he hadn't seen her.

Along with the long silky hair he secretly used to admire, the eyes in which he had always wished to stare deep for hours, it was her resilience, her inner strength which he was confident she would never lose. When he had learned about her choice of career as serving the country, he wasn't a bit surprised. He knew she would end up doing something on those lines.

He was proud of her. He had always been.

He wished he could tell her someday about his feelings, but then hated himself for having thought about it the next instant.

Surprisingly, for reasons unknown to him, he wasn't a bit shattered when he saw her surreptitiously holding hands with Vineet that morning. He had expected his heart to be axed into pieces, but somehow the happiness, the glow on her face was enough to overpower his pain with a contented relief.

Her happiness was all that mattered. Especially for him.

Besides, he was confident Vineet deserved her more than he did. With Vineet by her side, he felt a greater sense of relief than he would have if _he_ would have been with her. At least he now had an assurance that she will never be alone. An assurance which he may not have promised her.

He absently laced the wound on his neck, as he tried to figure out what he exactly felt. Though he couldn't find the exact reason why he felt what he shouldn't have, he neither had any regrets, nor did he feel proud for his feelings. Maybe it was just the way it was supposed to be. Maybe it was just the way about _her_, he pondered over. Like a flower so delicate, so inviting, yet one is afraid to touch it.

A faint smile made its way on his lips, unbeknownst to him. Though he couldn't find the reason why his heart overflew with waves of warmth, each time he saw her smile, he loved the feeling of it. Maybe it was just so natural around her. The way she used to find a way to happiness even in the smallest of things. He gave a slight chuckle, reminiscing how she still enjoyed dancing in the rains, relishing the waffle cone more than the vanilla ice-cream, pampering the random stray cats and dogs on the streets or childishly licking the chocolate cream off a biscuit.

He thought maybe it was the way she was. Simplicity, he thought again. He had found her too beautiful to be real. Though he had always made fun of her dimples in college, he found them worth dying for. Yet, the simplicity in her, the inner serenity which she possessed had always ruled over her external assets.

He may not have found the reason why he loved her, and neither did he want to. He knew his heart would always savour the feelings, the love he had for her, and he never forced for it to get over her. Because her happiness, that one smile on her face was all that mattered to him.

Always. Until the very end.

..

**A/N :** Alright, though I had hoped for it to be good, it is turning out pretty bad. :-/ PR, TS and MM, please don't laugh! :-( Keeping fingers crossed for the upcoming chapters.

RajVi shippers, no offense. I have nothing against Rajat and Purvi as individuals, I absolutely LOVE them. But I really don't see them as a couple. It's PurVin all the way for me. So, please don't give me an unnecessary headache for it, as it will NOT be entertained.

As I have mentioned, the series is about one-shots on one-sided attractions, Karan's chapter ends here. Next chapters will be based on a different character, each. Also, I have decided to focus on the least recognized characters here, so if there is any particular character you want me to write about (note : least popular and based on one-sided love), please let me know. If I can write, I will. If I can't, I'll let you know accordingly. :-) Although, I have reserved one chapter for someone who doesn't need to be mentioned, and sooner or later, you will get to see it. Whether or not to read it is your choice entirely.

I'm not even going to talk about reviews. The lesser said about the stories and the reviews they get, the better! No offense, people.


	2. Chapter 2 : The Companion in Loneliness

**A/N :** Before we proceed with the story, this is in response to the requests I have been receiving for the future chapters.

I am sorry, I cannot write on Dareya. No offence to their shipping or their fans, really, but it just won't go with the theme. I don't understand what and how do you want me to portray as a "one-sided love which remains incomplete" in their case, when you yourself will slaughter me if either Daya or Shreya ends up with someone else. So, no Dareya from me.

Furthermore, I cannot write on PurVin or RajVi, because I have already written one chapter on Purvi, and I wouldn't want it to be repetitive in her case.

In response to several other requests (Sachin, Nyla..), I will think about them and try writing as and when I get ideas.

Coming to the chapter, those who are against Sudhakar and Asha's pair can happily skip this.

..

/\/\

..

It had started snowing by the time he walked out of the clinic. Opening the umbrella with one hand and balancing his crutch with the other, he scuffled his way through the snow-covered roads.

The weather had been particularly windy that day, the breeze lashing on every possible surface it could find, and people struggled to keep their umbrellas and winter clothes in place. However, for him, there was something else biting him more than the cold.

Harsher and tumultuous than he could imagine.

As he cast a glance around him, he could find people merrily chatting with each other, some snuggling close for warmth, some merely enjoying the snow, while carrying their infant in a crib, hurrying to reach towards their destination. However they were, they had some purpose, some solace in their life. Someone they could talk to, someone who listened to them.

Struggling to maintain his balance on the slippery ground, he tried recollecting the last time someone had _actually_ spoken to him. Or rather, _listened_ to him. Enquiring about him, his injuries. About his loneliness.

Chuckling slightly to himself, he thought there is nothing anyone could do, anyways. His leg injury had gone worse since the encounter, and when they had tried every possible way of treatment they could, they had decided to send him off to this place far away, for a hope of a better recovery. Far off from his life, his family... his duty of serving the country.

It had helped, nonetheless. He had experienced a speedy recovery in his leg, and within months, he had moved from a wheelchair to crutches.

When they – particularly ACP Pradyuman and Freddy – had learned about the progress, they had sounded happy, at least over the phone. Although they kept on repeating they missed him, he was still unable to figure out whether they wanted him back in the team.

He recollected the times he had spent with them and he missed every single bit of it all. Right from going to places for investigation, searching for hidden clues, the light moments they shared in the bureau, the secrets he kept with Freddy to the small brawl he had had with Abhijeet over a case. More than that, he missed his title – _Sub Inspector Sudhakar_. The mere thought of the label sent a wave of warmth through him, in the freezing cold.

But, more than anything, he missed _her_. Not her smile, her hair or her beauty. Because that was just not her. Though everyone knew she was way too different from the rest of the girls, he found something. Something that distinguished her from the normal generalization of women.

He missed her eyes. Those intimidating, intriguing eyes. He missed her anger. Her love, her passion for work. Yes, he missed the way she used to lose herself in whatever she did.

And he knew _nothing_ else was more important to her. Nothing else would be. And he understood. He respected it. He always would. Until the very end.

Pondering over her thoughts, he didn't even realize he had reached home. Where no one and nothing would be waiting for him. Only sheer, cruel loneliness.

Sighing heavily, he pulled out the keys, proceeding to enter into the world of isolation. No sooner had he taken a few steps ahead, when he saw a big chunk of what looked like furry white snow outside the door, huddled in a corner. Taking his crutch, he reached over to shove it off to a side, when, to his utter surprise, he found it slightly moving. Rather, shivering.

Bending down to get a clear picture, he scrutinized it for a few seconds, until he realized what the thing in question was. Surprised as he was, he looked around for any signs if anyone had forgotten it by mistake. There wasn't a single creature for miles away.

Putting all the strength he had, he sat down on his uninjured leg, and gently moved his hand over the thing. "Hey there, boy!" He called out softly, and slowly, a pair of blackish-red eyes shot back at him. It was a snowy-white hare, with big expressive eyes and long ears. Smiling gently at the animal, he guessed it must have escaped from a nearby zoo.

He took one good look at it, and being the experienced CID officer that he was, he knew it was starving and homeless. "Come, let's give you something to eat." He caressed and carefully picked up the shivering rabbit who cuddled closer under his warm coat, as he bit his lip to ignore the pain which shot up in his leg while getting to his feet.

Needless to say, the rabbit gobbled up whatever it was being served within minutes, its huge ears straightening up as a gesture to express relief. Seeing it eat satisfactorily was indeed a pleasure for Sudhakar. He felt as though he had helped a needy after ages. And it felt good. He smiled affectionately at the hare, who had by then finished up the treat, and was licking its paws clean.

Watching over it as it hopped to a corner, he wondered what needed to be done about it. He did not want to give it away to a zoo or an animal welfare association. For some unknown reason, he felt a need, a companionship in the creature in those few minutes he had spent with it. Anyways, he needed someone to talk to, he thought. He had heard and seen cats and dogs being good listeners. He couldn't say the same about hares.

_At least, I'll have someone to talk to in this cavern of loneliness_, he thought.

And as though the animal had read his mind, it came hopping up to his feet, straightening its ears indicating its interest in listening. Chuckling in amusement, the sub-inspector lifted the hare up, who was looking at him earnestly.

"I don't remember the last time I poured my heart out to someone and got anything in return!" He gave a deep sigh, and the rabbit surprisingly placed a paw over his chest. Sudhakar patted the animal's head lovingly, caressing behind its ears before letting himself drown into his world of nostalgia.

"So, it all started when I got this fatal injury in this nearly life-threatening encounter. One bullet.. one _damn_ bullet.. was enough to change my entire life. Turn it upside down!" He grimaced slightly, as the horrifying incident swam in front of his eyes.

He felt relieved the next instant when the hare again placed its paw on his chest, as though it sensed his pain. He gently rubbed the animal's neck, and it blinked in joy. Taking a few deep breaths, he continued. "It started getting worse gradually. Doctors had even offered to amputate my leg. But ACP Sir and Freddy strongly protested, because they knew they were other options. And... that is how I landed here!" He sighed, smiling at his newly found companion, who looked back at him before staring at his legs, trying to figure out if it still hurt him.

"Aah, it's alright now! I've got some really good treatment, you know. So, it's much better now!" He assured the animal. The little creature was too innocent to know anything as unpleasant as bullets and injuries.

His voice suddenly cracked as he continued further. "But, the worst part was, that one bullet made me lose everything. My job, my friends, my chance to serve my country, my..." He stopped, feeling a sharp needle being pierced right through his heart as he remembered her again.

"But, what was worse was, I lost... her! Never to see her again!" He stared distantly into the empty space, trying to figure out what exactly was it about her that made him miss her so much. So damn much.

Jerking out of the trance, he found the hare staring at him, its eyes fixed on him, waiting for him to reveal the deepest secret locked safely in his heart. To which he never allowed anyone access. Not even Freddy. For a moment, he shuddered imagining Freddy's scandalized reaction, had he learned about his secret.

Sudhakar opened his mouth to finally spill his heart out, but closed it abruptly. He couldn't understand where and how to start. He was at a loss of words... for _her_.

He found himself unable to make out what to say. He found himself with the urge to speak _nothing_ and _everything_ about her. For a second, he frowned thinking what exactly was he supposed to say? About the first time he got this nagging feeling in his heart about her? About how he was unsure of his true feelings for her? Or about the mixed emotions he had on managing to hide his feelings from her?

He slightly winced, as he pulled himself away from the past, as soon as he realized there was someone waiting to listen to him. "There was this girl..." He murmured, and the hare suddenly became interested.

"There was something... _something_ about her which made her stand out in the crowd. Which made her... _different_. Very different from the rest." He said absently, before turning to his pal and sneering at him. "Don't be so surprised! These things _can_ happen to us... to everyone." He smiled, as he felt the animal's expressions suddenly changing.

"I don't know what was more fascinating about her. Whether the way she used to look at everyone with those stern eyes... or whether she used to care about everyone like a mother. Or whether she was so passionate, so dedicated towards her duty." As he spoke, he found himself wondering what was _actually_ so fascinating, so intriguing about her.

After a few seconds of his mind playing the topsy-turvy game with him, he finally reached at a conclusion. "Whatever it was, I found everything... literally every damn thing about her attractive. Mesmerizing!" He rested his head on the sofa, momentarily closing his eyes to quell the piercing feeling which was stabbing at his heart.

Once the feeling had simmered down, he straightened up and looked at his friend. "Girls can do _really_ bad things to you, you know! Many a times, you just look once at them, and your entire life is likely to go for a toss. That is the intensity in them. In everything they do." He sighed and ruffled the animal's fur. "Never, _never ever _fall for a girl. It's very bad for you! Plus, the passion you develop for her, can make it very inconvenient for you." He snorted softly, but stopped as he saw a somewhat vexed expression on its tiny face.

"Alright, sorry for that! But, yeah... it's the truth!" He nodded vigorously to emphasize his point.

Pulling the hare closer to his chest, he ploughed on. "You know, she used to be a pretty strict lady sometimes. Once she decided for what she felt was right, no one dared to stop her. Not even our ACP Sir." He said, remembering the way she had stood up by her friend's side against domestic violence.

"In fact, my friend Freddy used to be terrified of her sometimes. Particularly when she used to be in that typical 'mood' of hers. Gosh, even that used to be _something_!" He shook his head, still in partial denial about he actually fell of every single thing of hers. "Ohh, Freddy was my best friend back then, by the way. And like you, he always used to listen to me whenever I needed someone to talk to!" He added.

"Anyways, getting back to her, the best thing about her was she wasn't like all the other girls. She never had that girly cheesiness in her. Constantly being self-conscious, doing all those girly things... all of that was never known to her. Yet, the attitude in her, those plain, simple yet appealing looks made her the most beautiful lady ever!" He said in a dazed voice, gazing remotely in space.

He recollected the way she used to be passionate about getting things done, and the utmost perfection with which she used to do them. The way she was never afraid to challenge her seniors whenever they used to go wrong. The way she used to empathize with her juniors whenever they used to work beyond their capacity. _Ok, enough..._ he thought, pulling himself up yet again.

"So... that was it about her! But you know the funniest part?" He looked at the animal, who blinked in confusion. "After all this, I _still_ don't know _why_ and _how_ did I fall for her in the first place!" He snorted at his own thoughts, still unable to decide why he missed her to such an extent.

"And I never want to know. For I know she is happy with what she has. With something which gives her much more love than I would have, if I could!" He sighed with an unknown satisfaction, and added hastily. "No, it's not any other guy!" He reassured. "It's her work. Her passion, her _love_ for her duty. She has loved no one and nothing more than her work! And she will never do! I will always be happy for that. _Always_! _Until the very end_!" He finished. With that, he felt greatly relieved, as though a heavy boulder was being lifted off his body, with his feelings spilling out from the confines of his heart. _Finally_.

For the first time since he had arrived at this place, for the first in all those months, he laughed as he felt the rabbit's hand over his face. As though telling him it was willing to listen to him for the rest of its life. He laughed wholeheartedly and unconditionally. A feeling which he was dying to experience.

"By the way, how do you like 'Fred' for a name?" He smiled, and sure enough, the hare's ears sprang up in happiness.

Grinning enthusiastically that night, Sudhakar carried his companion in one hand, and scrambling to his feet, limped towards the bedroom. "Come little boy, that's enough for today. Time to go to bed!"

He had finally found a companion, a friend. Someone he had always longed for.

..

**A/N : **I know, it has less of Sudhakar's feelings for Asha, and more of his loneliness and his much-needed companionship. But, I couldn't think of anything more than this, and I don't know how much of it is relevant.

PR, thanks for the idea. :-) Although this is not exactly as you had suggested, I hope it's not disappointing either. Also, I hope I have done justice to Sudhakar's character.

People, don't review if you don't like.


	3. Chapter 3 : Similarities and Mismatch

**A/N :** The past four years that I have been reading stories here, I don't think anyone has specifically mentioned the disclaimer of "not owning a particular category", because that has always been understood. We don't need to mention the fact that we don't own CID or the characters. If someone claims we are idiots by not explicitly specifying the facts, it's their problem, their loss.

Anyways, coming to the chapter, I DO NOT ship Nyla and Vivek. I wouldn't ever dream of breaking up my OTP. This chapter is strictly from Nyla's perspective. Some facts have been altered, in comparison to the actual incidences shown.

..

/\/\

..

A perfect Sunday morning. Pleasant weather, the park packed with jovial people, some jogging their extra calories out, some simply chatting or some enjoying the junk food across the street, the melodious chirping of the birds and flowers in every possible colour blooming all around.

However, none of this proved successful in lifting her spirits that morning. She wasn't a morning person – a fact which she proudly loved to confess about herself. Lazing off in bed till late afternoons on holidays was one of her favourite 'hobbies'.

Still, she was here. Waking up with a sleepless night, throbbing head, her mother's nearly horrified reaction – of jumping to the conclusion that her daughter's gone insane - and an entirely messed up face, here she was, sitting isolated on a bench in the park, her face bearing an expression duller than dishwater.

It had all started the previous night, when she finally decided to call it quits. After contemplating on it for a whole two months. She had felt surprisingly relieved when she told him her decision to end it.

"_It's over, Anson! I can't take it anymore!" She shook her head vigorously, flinging her hands violently in the air in an attempt to let the guilt get the better of her. Her boyfriend of seven months took it more casually than she had feared. "I had expected this to come somewhere." He took a deep breath and sighed, gently pulling her by the elbow and made her face him. "I guess I should have figured it out much earlier!" He said, in a voice as calm as possible. "But, you know what, Nyla? It's not about the break up. It's your head. It's way too messed up." He smiled ruefully at her, and she couldn't help but nod. _

"_The day you get that cleared, you'll know what you actually are looking for! And remember, I will be there for you... as a friend." He smiled, cupping her face in his hands. _

_She could just utter a 'thank you' in reply._

She frowned in slight annoyance, as she recollected the incident. It was never the break up which left her in this haphazard condition. She had seen it coming. They were his words. She couldn't deny they were true. Each one of them.

As she sat staring emptily at the jogging track, she wondered what it was actually which had caused her to transform drastically from a vivacious, fun-loving, badass brat to a short-tempered, eternally-frustrated and tantrum-throwing piece of waste – as she sarcastically used to call herself.

She was never the way she found herself that morning. Hell, she didn't even remember the last time she had actually taken the pains to rise so early on a Sunday morning. She hadn't even felt the slightest amount of regret when her previous engagement had been called off. Or when she had to leave her lush life in the US to come down to India.

She always had the habit of taking serious things way too lightly. The forensic expert Dr. Nyla – who needed no one but herself to make her feel better.

Pondering over her thoughts, she was determined to figure out what was it which suddenly caused her life – rather, her nature – to take a three-sixty degree turn. She made a firm decision to come to a conclusion on what her head actually wanted. And where was it lagging behind. She wasn't the one to let herself get carried away by such things. She knew she had to bring herself up.

It all started when she met her ex-boyfriend Anson, and more precisely, a few weeks after they started dating. She had met him at a conference, and they had taken an instant liking to each other.

However, as the days passed, something in him started bothering her. Forced her to drag herself into a forbidden section of her past. Forced her to unlock the safe protecting the deepest secret locked inside the confines of her heart.

Over the days, she realized every single thing about Anson reminded her of someone. Of _him_. Whom she just couldn't get herself to forget no matter how hard she tried. No matter how much she forced her heart. It always managed to pull her into the dreaded world of his thoughts. His memories.

Initially, when Anson started playing small pranks on her, both of them knew it was to make her happy. However, somewhere, at the back of her head, a nagging feeling had already started taking birth.

Anson was an excellent prankster, someone who could make her explode into peals of laughter, regardless of the time, mood or surroundings. To top it all, he loved to take her to the most unexpected places for a date and give her the weirdest surprises – the kind which had always fascinated her. If that wasn't enough, he was a fabulous dancer, with a body more flexible than that of a snake.

She _was_ happy, she couldn't help but agree. But, somewhere, her heart ached. Pained as she noticed everything which Anson used to do. And even though it used to make her happy from the outside, she started breaking from within.

When she got herself transferred from Mumbai CID, she never knew departing from him would have such an impact on her.

As she sat on the bench, she wondered how and why did she fall for him in the first place. And when she realized she had started taking his friendship much more than anyone in their team could ever think of.

Maybe it was the subtle interest he used to show in talking to her in the lab. _No_, she thought. She wasn't the one to fall prey to mere two words of praise. Besides, she had never really given their interactions at work much importance, anyways.

It wasn't the small coffee breaks they used to have off duty, either. Or was it? She frowned in irritation, confused at her own thoughts. Whatever the source might have been, she couldn't recollect exactly. Or rather, she couldn't zero in on a particular incident or time when she first realized she was falling for him.

The truth was, there was something about him which instantly seized her attention. Something which made him different from the rest. No, it wasn't those bright hazel eyes, though she couldn't deny she found them intimidating. Or his appearance. Yes, she preferred fair-skinned guys to tall, dark men – another fact she never regretted to confess about herself.

But that wasn't the prime criteria in _his_ case. There was something, something very intriguing about him which left her to ponder over his thoughts for long hours. The small pranks she used to play on his colleagues, the eagerness and impatient excitement he showed to get things done, the way he used to sarcastically comment to anything that annoyed him.

Somewhere, as she got to know him better, she realized she could relate to him. In every possible thing. She started to feel interesting amused with everything he did.

At one point of time, she nearly felt he didn't fit into the profession of a responsible CID officer. Neither did she, she always knew. Till date, she had always wondered what made her opt for the goddamned career of forensic science, when she could have been _anything_. Though she had a zest for working hard, she never thought she would find herself dedicating her entire life to mutilated dead bodies.

He never came across as a serious, no-nonsense, responsible person – something which was a prerequisite for a CID officer – to her. Yet, he used to put all his sweat in whatever he did, never giving a chance to complain. Another quality she could relate to.

He wasn't very careful about his life, either. He had a habit of taking life as it came – something which she loved the _most_. She was careless. She _loved_ being careless, a fact which, if ACP Pradz – as she used to mention it to her friends, since she found his name way too difficult to pronounce – would have known, he would have thrown her out of the team.

Although the entire team, especially ACP Pradyuman, used to get annoyed by his carefree nature, she found it fascinating.

As the days passed, unbeknownst to him – and to her – she started getting fond of his pranks, his shrewdness, his overall perception towards life. There was this certain passion, a kind of zest in him towards life which she was particularly attracted. The kind who dares to take the opposite path, going against the society's stereotyped mindset.

Gradually, she became profoundly passionate towards everything related to him.

Though she had not paid much heed to his flirting in the lab, she had felt happy from within. But, she being her, was too adamant to admit it, even to herself. She remembered how she had helped him hide Freddy's cell-phone the other day, and the way they had had a good laugh over it.

Then there was the other side of him. If he was the ultimate prankster of the team who openly loved to irritate everyone, he was also an ace in hiding his emotions, his feelings all to himself. _Another similarity_, she had pondered over. When had she herself poured her heart out to someone the last time, she asked herself.

Although the entire team was aware of his extreme fondness for Freddy, he never expressed it. Not a single word. He wasn't the one to say at every moment how much he loved or hated someone – a quality which she _worshipped_. She was of the opinion that when you love someone, you don't need to _say_ it every now and then. It is understood. And it was particularly true in his case.

He used to express his respect, his love through the teasing, the pranks he used to play on Freddy. That was what she called _true_ friendship.

This habit of his was more convincingly proved one day. The day when _she_ came.

She wasn't exactly heartbroken when Tasha came in. For she knew his attachment for her. He had mentioned every single thing about Tasha countless times previously, to the point where she already knew everything about her even before she joined. And it helped her. Being aware of his closeness towards Tasha, she wasn't a bit surprised when his face glowed like a thousand-watt bulb when he saw Tasha walk in.

And there was no denying that the girl was pretty. With those mesmerizing eyes which could speak volumes, she was capable enough of making any guy fall head over heels for her. Like him, she felt even Tasha didn't fit into the role of CID officer, given her contagious smile and her effervescent personality.

However, what touched her was his relationship with Tasha. It seemed so beautiful, so pure. She had hardly ever seen a friendship so unique yet so perfect. She felt relieved knowing he had finally found his soul-mate. She was confident enough to confess that no girl in the world would be perfect for him other than Tasha.

Maybe that was the reason she, on her last day with the team, told him instead of Tasha, that how lucky _he_ was to have her, rather than the other way round.

In spite of knowing they were made for each other, she never realized why he was afraid to tell his real feelings to Tasha. Maybe it was his nature of keeping his emotions locked inside his heart, until someone externally gained access to them. Maybe Tasha already knew, and he didn't ever have to _say_ it.

Whatever maybe the reason, she knew one day he would gather up the courage to tell Tasha about his love, irrespective of whether or not it was needed to be spoken. She couldn't ever forget the smile he had on his face, whenever Tasha's name was mentioned, no matter how far he drifted apart from her.

At the end, what mattered to her was _his_ smile. Which she cherished. Which she lived onto. Always. Until the very end.

Feeling the soothing morning breeze the first time that morning - or since ages - she finally felt relaxed as her heart found what it had been missing. Heaving a deep sigh of relief, she left the park a better person, or more preciously, a person in her own self, to complete her sleep which had been disrupted by her tumultuous mind that morning.

..

**A/N : **Please let me know if the story is getting monotonous. Posting a review is not mandatory. Thanks again PR for the idea. :-)


	4. Chapter 4 : A Relationship Beyond Love

**A/N :** Before I start, let me clarify something to the reviewers, specially Aditi. In the review to my previous story, you mentioned "I know you don't like me reviewing on your story". Dear, there's nothing, I repeat, NOTHING of that sort. Yes, I agree we do have certain differences in opinions, but that's with everyone. I can't expect the entire fandom to have the same perspective as mine, and I'm completely fine with that. That has nothing to do with you reviewing on my other stories.

Dear all, if you find my writing worth reading and mention it in the reviews, I'd be naturally overwhelmed. Why would I have a problem if someone appreciates my work, just because my opinion clashes with that someone. So, Aditi and the others, if you like my stories, thank you for the same, but please don't think I don't like people appreciating my work.

Disclaimer : I don't own CID or the characters. *yawn*

Coming to the chapter, those who have a problem with the shipping can happily skip. Slightly AU.

..

/\/\

..

One particular thing which ACP Ajatshatru could never come to terms with was – Why do people fall in love? What was it exactly which was capable enough of making the strongest and toughest of hearts melt instantly like ice kept on a burning stove?

Shrewd as he was, an inspiration for many, the Assistant Commissioner of the CID Special Bureau was known to have a solution to almost any problem that a normal layman couldn't crack.

Except for one question which seemed to be the simplest and the trickiest of all centuries brought together.

He had laughed off in amusement whenever he had heard or seen any incidences of people falling head over heels in love, some giving in whatever they could to make it work while others just letting it fail. However, never ever, in the wildest of his dreams, had he thought he would find himself in the same situation as the people on whom he had sneered in the past.

And he was stuck. Stuck in the middle of nowhere. While his mind was tugging him towards the future, his heart was rebelliously refusing him to let go of the past. Past which was empty, the void never to be filled again. Yet, it seemed full. Brimmed with countless elements of pain, angst, grief and desolation. A dark cavern which he himself was afraid to enter into.

Sitting in the confines of his cabin, one hand supporting his forehead, he bore a deep unfathomable frown over his weary face as he fiddled with the photograph in the other hand.

He had expected himself to lose himself all over again as he saw her naïve smiling face the umpteenth time that day. But, his eyes felt empty. The tears were tired of falling down. Hence, as he looked at the picture again, his lips gave a slight rueful smile.

He had never imagined every small thing related to her could possibly have such a huge impact over him. It wasn't the same way initially, because it never really mattered to him. But, as his association with her started increasing, he found a part of him being unknowingly tugged towards her. And he when he realized he had reached a point where he could no longer stop his heart from pulling him, it was late.

Too late.

He never knew whether it was actually 'love' – as the world around him had given the particular feeling a name – or respect which he grew for her with time. Even though the rest of the world had a name to every emotion that existed, he was never really able to give it any specific name. Maybe he himself never knew what it really was.

Or maybe, naming it had never been important. All he knew was, a part of him always went through a sudden transition whenever he used to see her. A transition which suddenly made everything around him non-existing, and only she was real.

He had valiantly tried to fight down the feeling when he had got it initially, literally having a war of words with his heart. But, his heart was too adamant to let go, much to his displeasure.

Being in love was the most beautiful emotion ever known to a soul, they had said. But, somehow, the theory seemed to be contradicted for him. He never liked falling in love. _Never_. He hated the feeling of giving away his emotions, his soul to a mere word of 'love'.

Not that he didn't love the people around him, certainly not. He loved them and cared for them. But, he knew to strike a perfect balance between his love for his people and his own self. And he had always been proud of it.

However, it was an altogether different scenario when it came to her. First, he never knew the answer to why he actually fell for her. He knew, right since the start, that she was engaged to someone else, from his colleagues and friends from the CID team. And he had been happy for her. Very happy. Rather, when the news of her engagement to Varun had filled the air of the CID and the Special Bureau, he had never thought the feeling would leave him so agonized later.

Second, he never realized why he felt the need to be friends with _her_ of all the people, why he chose _her_ to utter all his pains of loneliness, when all the others were equally friendly and helpful. Maybe it was the way she never showed how much she cared for others. Maybe she had just understood his pain without him having to tell her about it.

The reason was never really that important, anyways. The satiation of being with her, to talk to her, to pour his heart out to her somewhere began overcoming the finding the reason of why all of that was happening.

He never did remember the exact time or a particular day when they became friends, and gradually started sharing everything. Nothing was planned, neither their friendship nor their conversation. It had just clicked. By an invisible source.

She had told him about her controversies surrounding her and her estranged sister, the difficulty she faced while dealing with it, her struggle to keep up with ACP Pradyuman's expectations of her and her hope of not disappointing her colleagues. And in spite of him being several positions senior to her, he had instantly sympathized.

It was him she had come to when her engagement had been called off. She had narrated the entire incident, and every ounce of pain on her face had axed his heart into tiny bits. However, along with it came a relief. Not that of her broken engagement, definitely not. He had been happy in her happiness and equally disheartened in her loss. The relief was of the fact that she had chosen him to be the first one to reveal the news to.

She had cried. Cried out of anger and pain. And he had let her cry. He was aware the more she kept the pain to herself, the more it would hurt her. And he never wanted that.

Their respective teams had been aware of their increasing interactions. But no one really bothered, except ACP Pradyuman getting slightly suspicious because he had been really worried for her. However, even the veteran Assistant Commissioner stopped paying heed after a while, when he was assured she was slowly getting back to her normal self.

Or they had never made it that obvious for people around to start raising their suspicion nerves at them. Maybe there wasn't anything to be doubted, in the first place. It was just pure plain friendship for them.

_Or was it? _He pondered over. He never knew. And he never bothered to know.

More than their friendship or the trust she showed in him, it was the respect they had for each other that really made them connect, he thought. All the days when they had been friends, she never missed out on addressing him as 'Sir' on or off duty. He never pestered her after a certain point, because their relationship had grown far more than taking care of each other's ranks.

She had been a quick learner, eager to do whatever she was being told to. Brave enough to disclose any hidden truth, whether it was related to her fellow colleague or her own family, she never failed to prove her righteous stand. That had made the entire team, including ACP Pradyuman proud of her.

And he had started respecting her more and more.

She was very choosy when it came to people around her. Though she had mutually reconciled with Abhijeet after the misunderstanding over a case, she never exactly looked up to him. No, she never garnered any hostility for him, but she never tried to be friends with him too.

Rather, she had always been reticent around her colleagues, the exception being ACP Pradyuman, from whom she had always been looking forward to learn.

Hence, when she had expressed to talk about her agony to him, he was slightly taken aback. And he had made sure he would live up to her trust. Forever.

He wished he had ever gotten a chance to tell her how much he respected her. Her resilience in spite of enduring so much, her introverted nature, the uniqueness she showed in investigating – everything had fascinated him, unbeknownst to him.

He was horrified with his own self when he found himself thinking about her much more than he had anticipated. There were times when he just used to drift in her thoughts absently, only to be brought back to reality by an external source. It was only then he realized he had been thinking about her.

And he hated it. He dreaded to think about his feelings shifting from a platonic friendship to something much beyond that. He never wanted it to happen. Never ever. He was aware it would be painful.

She had trusted him with his friendship. Besides, he had only ever seen respect in her eyes for him. Nothing else.

But, his heart refused to listen, his mind refused to budge. No matter how hard he tried, it was no use.

When he had paid a visit to the CID bureau to co-ordinate about the proceedings of the terrorist-bombing case, he never knew that was the last time he would be seeing her.

Remembering it was enough to send a wave of excruciating pain throughout his soul.

But, he had promised himself not to break. He had promised _her_ he wouldn't let himself shatter.

She had died a dignified death – something she had always wanted. After saving at least a thousand lives by destroying the bomb, there wasn't a slightest amount of remorse on her face when she had breathed her last. She had gained the eternal satisfaction of fulfilling her duty, to which she had dedicated her soul, her life.

In the morgue, when the entire team stared at her corpse with teary eyes, his eyes were blank. He knew she never liked anyone shedding tears for her. No matter how painfully he had broken from within, he had somehow found control over his tears and ordered them not to fall.

And they had agreed. For _her_.

Looking at her lifeless body for the last time before it was escorted to the crematorium, he again tried to find the answers to all those unasked questions yet again.

Maybe it _was_ love, after all. Or maybe not. Or maybe something slightly more than friendship.

The exact relationship they had ever shared hardly mattered. Some relationships don't ever need a name. What mattered was, she had found peace. Eternal soothing peace.

And that was all he ever needed. Her happiness. Always. Until the very end.

As everyone had paid their last respects, amidst the gun-shots firing in the air in her last remembrance, he had stood still, silently promising her he would always live up to her trust, her friendship, her expectations from him.

Placing the photograph aside, ACP Ajatshatru smiled satisfactorily, getting back to his work in spite of failing to find the answers. And this time, he didn't bother to know. For he knew what was essential. And that was enough for him.

He _was_ living up to her trust.

..

**A/N :** I'm not sure whether it's up to the mark, as I had not planned on this initially. Also, I have never watched CID Special Bureau, so if anything doesn't fit, sincere apologies for the same. Just hoping it isn't lame or disappointing. :-/

Those who genuinely liked can review.


	5. Chapter 5 : Confusion and Complexities

**A/N :** Muskaan haters, sorry for the disappointment. Yea, even I don't like her much, but I don't find any ridiculous and meaningless reasons to hate her or anyone else for that matter. Those who hate Muskaan can skip this, and Dareya shippers can DEFINITELY skip this. Rest, I hope you enjoy.

Dayuskaan shippers, this is not exactly a ship, for as the theme suggests, it is a one-sided attraction, focusing solely on Muskaan's feelings. Whether or not Daya reciprocates the feelings, I leave it up to the readers. :-)

On with it, then.

..

/\/\

..

An annoyed grunt escaped her lips, as she tried pulling the hairbrush out from her long, perfectly straight hair, her head tilting to a side as she did so. "Maybe I should just cut these and throw them out the window!" She shouted indignantly to herself in the mirror and gasped in shock as the hairbrush was finally parted from her hair after several unsuccessful attempts, taking few entangled strands along with it. _'Of all times for me to have a bad hair day!'_ She thought to herself, flailing her hands helplessly in the air as she slammed the hairbrush back to its place. "Screw you!" You scowled at the broken strands of hair lying on the hairbrush, and thumped on the bed growling in irritation.

It had been a particularly bad day for her, and a short walk on the beach with Dr. Niyati had hardly done anything to raise her spirits. There were things to be sorted – get her transfer letter approved, pack huge piles of stuff that lay unmanned all over the room, filing registrations to officially get her address changed. But, those things could wait.

One particular thing that couldn't wait was the mess in her head. That needed to be sorted on priority.

Staring at the still ceiling fan, she racked her brains to figure out what exactly was making her temper shoot up for the silliest of trifles. '_Was it the transfer? The headache it accompanied along?' _She pondered over. No, getting transferred was _her_ decision after all, and she was well aware of the hectic errands it involved.

There was something else. Something that was continuously nagging her at the back of her head. But, she, being her adamant self, vehemently refused to accept it. Who likes to accept being carried away by a mere idiocy of the heart, anyways? And Sub-inspector Muskaan was certainly not the one to let go so easily. 'Vulnerable' was probably the last word that existed for her.

However, somewhere in a secluded corner of her heart, she did hold some qualms, some insatiable emotion she tried her best to quell. Or rather, she refused the feeling to take control over her soul. Violently refused.

Was she really in-

_No_, she swiftly lifted herself of the bed, sitting upright and valiantly shook her head to stop it from entertaining the thoughts that were encroaching. A couple of the entangled strands fell on her forehead which already had numerous frowns stuck on it since that morning.

'_All the time when something is near you, you hardly realize what it means to you. And when suddenly you feel you're drifting apart from it, realization dawns upon you like a flash of light and it becomes the most important thing in the freaking universe! Wow!'_ She gritted her teeth as the thought occurred to her and pounded her fists on the bed.

She had never regretted anything she did, or anything she let her mind think. Yes, for a split second, she had felt guilty for she did to Divyana. But, she couldn't help it. The mere presence of the girl had irked her. She was well aware that Divyana was an extremely talented girl – someone who knew everything except putting that talent to its proper use.

Though she didn't regret snatching Divyana's credit on the hope that the girl will speak up for herself sooner or later, she felt the method she employed for plagiarism was incorrect. When Muskaan had learned of a new officer joining them, she had hoped for someone she could gel with. The fact of someone who called herself a goddamned CID officer getting freaked out on seeing a dead corpse and speaking up to ACP Pradyuman had refused to go down well with Muskaan.

She never felt any repentance for the plagiarism for she had hoped Divyana to actually come and challenge her – not because she felt insecure. When she felt it was hopeless, she gave up.

Yet, she never did feel any remorse for it. Or for anything that had crossed her path. She knew of a way to handle anything and everything.

She hated herself for the moment when she was still sitting on the bed, sulking in confusion and perplexity.

Till date, she had never let _anything_ control her, not even her decision of getting transferred. She had never ever imagined in the wildest of her dreams she could let the hovering thoughts in her head control her. _His_ thoughts. She screwed her eyes shut momentarily in protest as his face floated in front of her.

When she had joined the team, she was very happy to have had a brilliant start. She had got everything she wanted – of course she had strived hard for it. She had never given any chance of complaint, she had seen to it.

She had managed to control everything she had come across – her work, her duty, her equation with her colleagues and her life. She was immensely proud of her rigid self, which she felt distinguished her from all the other girls. _'I'm a bad girl and I don't give a damn!' _, was the slogan she often used for herself.

Yet, she never thought that one thing could actually succeed in taking control of _her_. She _still_ animatedly refused to admit it, only in vain. Eventually, it had taken control and it was too late.

She had always maintained a pure, straight relationship of professionalism, respect and good rapport to an extent. She wanted it that way. She had looked up to him as a senior and had been willing to learn from him. _'Just a senior'_ She reminded herself yet again and gave a dry laugh.

She felt angry on her own self. Not for letting her emotions flow beyond what she had anticipated. But, for failing to make her aware that there should be a stop to the flow.

She was strong enough to the extent that she never did show how much she cared. She had always been tagged as the most stone-hearted of all, expressing no concern whatsoever for anyone. But, deep down, she knew how much she cared. No one knew she was the only one who had sympathized with Freddy after the case ended when he had been caught hitting the bottle at duty hours. Freddy knew, of course, but they had promised to keep it a secret.

No, she wasn't ashamed of admitting she could get emotional. She just didn't want people to know. It helped her have a better control over her emotions and not get carried away by trivial matters. She had always preferred thinking practically over emotionally. Some people didn't approve of that, but she never cared.

Maybe that was the reason she never knew when she started losing her heart out to him. She had never really experienced anything of the sort – to let herself getting carried away by emotions.

He had always been a perfect senior – his dedication, his resilience, his concern towards his juniors had always made him stand out from among the seniors. He was known to have a way to make his colleagues at ease. They preferred looking up to him rather than anyone else. He always ensured nothing was bothering anyone around.

He was completely different from her when it came to emotions. She never really knew how to express the concern which people around needed. She didn't blame herself for it, for she _was_ being made that way. He, on the other hand, being the Senior Inspector Daya always had a way to reach out to his subordinates. Somewhere, it had fascinated her.

She was touched particularly by his ability to maintain a perfect balance with his mind and heart, something she couldn't really do – or she had never tried. She was always more on the practical side, showing a limited amount of display for emotions. And she was proud of it. He, on the other hand, was probably the most emotional in the team.

Honestly, she never found anything in him she could relate to. Except for the resilience and dedicated towards everything in their path. Yet, she felt something. Some sort of invisible wire which connected her to him.

Being Senior Inspector Daya, he was an inspiration for many in their line of career. Almost everyone junior to him in rank wanted to look up to him, to be like him. They preferred getting trained under him, instead of his veterans.

Except _her_. She never wanted to follow his path, or anyone's path for that matter. Not even ACP Pradyuman's. She believed in being herself and setting up her own path for success. '_If you follow someone else, how can you retain your individuality?', _was what she thought.

She never really understood what exactly it was that she felt something more than mere professional alliance and a slightly friendly rapport, which she was sure he reciprocated for her.

Maybe the reason was she had never had any friends who were different from her. Rather, someone who could teach her to find a perfect balance between all emotions surrounding her.

There were reasons why she secretly admired him, everything he did, even though she didn't follow it. Just the admiration was enough for her, to teach her much more than she had expected.

She never knew how and when did she start seeing him as a good friend apart from being just a colleague. She had always been fond of his charm, his personality. He had the one of the best smiles she had ever seen in a person. A smile which could prove contagious at any given point of time or situation. It was no surprise to her that he had a huge number of female following.

She was glad she wasn't among them. Yes, she loved his personality. But, she adored him for his generosity, his modesty, which she believed deserved more to be loved than some external factors. Moreover, he was such that anyone would prefer loving him for what he was from within rather than his looks. She used to lose herself thinking about him, his nature for long hours, unbeknownst to her.

She found him an apt senior – someone who could reach out to his subordinates when they needed. A quality she had hardly discovered about any of the other experienced veterans. In spite of vowing to follow her own path throughout, she couldn't deny she had so much to learn from him.

He proved to be the first person capable of bringing a smile on her face, by his jokes, his innocent pranks on his teammates including her, or the simple light moments they shared. Of course, she enjoyed being with the others, but with him around, it was an altogether different feeling. A feeling of something special, which she had never experienced before.

She _loved_ it. Just the mere presence of him around, whether or not he was aware of her feelings. She never really cared about that part, for it was never her motive to let him know.

She had only loved him silently, and it had made her happy.

Besides, she knew he never really was craving for love at that point of time. His duty towards his country was what he considered his first love. She loved that, too. It made her prouder of him.

They say, you don't miss a person when they are constantly in front of you. It was the truth, then. For she never gave her feelings that importance while working with him. Until she realized she would no longer be seeing him. Just… missing him. Everything about him.

It was better that way, she thought. Going away from him, letting him be him. His thoughts, his memories, his satisfied face upon fulfilling his duty were all that she needed. Always. Until the very end.

'_Who cares whether it's love or something else? I'm just happy the way it is.'_ She thought to herself with a self-gained confidence much stronger than before.

Realizing she had gotten herself disoriented for no reason, she smiled sheepishly to herself, lightly shaking her head.

Looking up at the ceiling fan to let the emanated air wash over her face like a wave of relief, she silently threw a kiss in the air towards nothing in particular. She just wanted to thank life for making her what she was. And her mind for getting herself back to her original self. Taking a deep breath and a much satisfied self-conscious along, she rose herself from the bed and headed towards the door.

"Where are you up to at this hour?" Her sister asked, eyeing her skeptically. "To get a new haircut. I've desperately needed it all this while!" Muskaan smiled back confidently, _'And an altogether new chapter… in life!' _She thought happily as she turned the knob, setting out in the soothing evening breeze.

..

**A/N :** I hope I have kept Muskaan well in character. If not, apologies. No offence to Divyana's fans. Haters, if you are thinking of giving me a hard time about this, please don't bother! Thank you. _/\_


	6. Chapter 6 : The Risen Heart

**A/N : **This chapter is based on the most loathed character of the CID fandom, so please read the warning before starting with the chapter. Tarika haters and Abhijeet worshippers, this chapter MIGHT raise your blood pressure, destroy your appetite or give you a painful nervous breakdown. Well, I am not responsible for it. Read at your own risk, skip at your own choice.

Set in the Tasha-era (2009-2010), where things were tolerable to an extent. I cannot imagine the same scenario in the present time. Besides, there is a subtle reason why I am emphasizing on the era.

Inspirations: Katherine (The Vampire Diaries), miscellaneous fandoms. Partly inspired by MM's 'In the Arms of the Enemy' and PR's 'From Afar'.

Brace yourselves, one of the fandom's worst nightmares approaching ahead..

..

/\/\

..

When the most ruthless and feared gangsters of his times realized the first time he had fallen for a girl, it initially came as a mental shock for him- as though an entire scuttle full of sharp needles had been overturned on his head, each of them scaling right into his brain.

He regarded himself capable of facing any level of predicament, as hellish as it could possibly be. He had been _brought up_ that way. He had been _made_ that way.

'_I was born in the ashes of molten hatred, raised by demons in the abodes of the dead.' _The statement precisely described the story of his early life.

For someone who had been brought up within the surroundings of hatred and sin- where devils celebrated evil over virtuousness- it proved to be indeed a surprise to learn his heart was capable of thinking good for someone. In a world where kids were handed guns and weapons before books and toys, where lessons of destruction and crime were taught before peace and tranquillity, words like love, friendship and affection were not allowed to exist.

Neither did they exist for him. He had never been given love and he never knew to give it to others. Right since his childhood, indifference was the only emotion he valued. He had been told by some about his parents being dead in an accident, while some telling him they had abandoned him. Whatever the truth it was, he didn't care. For by the time he was old enough for his brain to start thinking logically, he had already accustomed himself to the world he had been thrust into.

And he had started loving it. No, it wasn't fun for him going around killing people as one would smack houseflies dead. He felt nothing. No emotion whatsoever in watching blood drain out of innocent victims.

As he grew, he graduated from committing small harmless wrongdoings to more advanced atrocious crimes, indulging in smuggling and contract killing. He became more stone-hearted with age, the callousness within him increasing.

Till the day everything around him was proved wrong. Till the day the bubble of hatred and indifference floating around him was burst by a strong invisible needle. Till the day he saw _her_.

When he first saw her, he was initially his usual indifferent self. The kind he felt for the hundreds of girls he had dated in the past. But, gradually the indifference made way for something else. A strange unusual feeling. The feeling of wanting to see her again.

And again and again.

He had spent countless nights calculating what he actually felt. And _why_ did he even feel anything. Because he had never known the definition of a 'feeling'.

He had hardly found the answer to his confusion when he was forced to come to terms with another doubt- why the hell was he bothering to waste nights thinking about _her_? He had never really 'thought' of anyone his entire life- neither in a good way nor in a bad way.

But, there was not a tinge of doubt the girl was no ordinary one. One look at her, and he felt his indifferent attitude flying out the window, much to his dismay. But, he found himself too busy in learning what was it about the girl that he didn't even bother getting back the indifference.

Everything, _every damn thing_ about her was... something. He could never really describe it in words. For it was beyond description, and even he had learned that by then.

Her name defined 'star'. But, that was just a coincidence. Any other name for her wouldn't have changed the definition for her. She _was_ a star. Not the ones hovering around the moon, casting their dim fickle shine. She was a lone star, which stood at a distance shining the brightest shine, one could easily distinguish from miles apart.

The first time he had looked at her, he felt a gentle tug at his heart, pressurizing him to break all the walls of hostility he had built around it.

It seemed she carried an aura around her, which was capable enough of pulling a part of him toward her every time he saw her. And for reasons unknown to him, he loved it. That was probably the first time he had _loved_ something. And the first time he had gotten a _feeling_.

She carried a part of her name in every asset she possessed. Her eyes- those heavenly captivating eyes which spoke volumes. He had once made a mistake of looking right into them. And within a flash of a second, he had forgotten the existence of the world around him. It was a feeling much more ecstatic than having taken a dozen pegs of Whisky. For a gangster, he had never experienced anything purer than that.

Her smile- the mesmerizing radiating smile which reached right up to her eyes. The way she used to flash it had convinced him it was meant only for her lips. She had once smiled that smile at him, and from that day onwards, he never liked any other person smiling at him again. He was well aware the smile was not intended for him- she hadn't learned the truth of his imposture then- but it was enough for him to treasure it for a lifetime.

Her hair- aah, how could he forget those irresistible dark curls which cascaded through her back? He had once caught her playing with them while doing a forensic analysis, flashing that elegant smile and those alluring eyes.

Her care- the concern she had for everyone, irrespective of her importance in their life. He wondered to what extent can a person love. Maybe there _were_ no bounds, he never figured out.

His heart had unexpectedly made a dive, smashing itself into two parts, every time he had come across her. One wanted to run toward her and hold her, feeling her smile, playing with those curls, while the other wanted to die right there. It couldn't handle all that beauty at one point. It was never made to accept the fact that something so beautiful, so pure, so simple existed.

After having a hard tug of war with his heart, he chose not to follow it. He had run. Marched out of the lab, away from her, trying to kick those thoughts out of his mind.

It was too late.

As he sat comfortably in his chair, staring at the ceiling emptily, he hated his heart yet again. He hated the people who forced him to sneak into the CID. He hated the Almighty for creating her. He hated his eyes for showing him such a pure form of beauty.

More than anything, he hated _himself_. He had always been content in his dark world of crime. It never made him regret anything. He could do whatever he wished, and his heart never really played a role anywhere. It was as though it was dead all those years.

The moment he saw her, it seemed his heart had suddenly risen from a deep grave, running free to haunt him. Crucify him every second.

He hated his mind for not deserving to even stand close to her- let alone talk to her. Of course, for a grim ruthless criminal like him, she definitely didn't deserve to interact with anyone of his likes. Specially not _her_, he thought.

Though he had made desperate attempts to stay away from her, he never understood why she was particularly concerned about him. It was then he figured the concern was never for him. It was for someone else- the man he shared his face with.

He hated the plastic-surgeon who had operated on him.

No, he never felt disheartened by learning the fact that she cared not for him but for the person he had hated the most. He wasn't anyways expecting it. He had, however, felt a pang of guilt rising in him every time she came to talk to him. Guilt of hiding the truth from her. Of keeping her in dark, when she never deserved any of it.

For a split second, he had considered keeping his real motive to a side, and confiding everything in her. But, the next moment, her agonized face had flashed in front of him, and he had discarded the thought.

Forgetting the hatred for those few minutes, he had made sure the Goody-two-shoes Senior Inspector knew how freaking lucky he was. He had gone to him and _told_ him while he was in his captive, still letting that bitterness seep into his voice. He didn't want the Senior Inspector to know about his feelings. He never considered it necessary.

Though he was utterly satisfied from within that she had loved a man who could give her a future. Bright, optimistic future.

He chuckled in dry sarcasm as the imagination of leaving all his evildoings for her occurred to him. He threw the thought right out the window instantly.

It never really mattered, anyways. Neither for her, nor for him.

Because all that was important was, the smile on her face which he had treasured right since the moment he had first seen it on her face.

A soothing wave of satiation made its way to his heart, the moment he learned he no longer needed to worry about her, the happiness which she deserved.

The other day, which had proved to be the best and the worst day of his life...

_The air on the beach blew with every possible sound one could imagine, right from the shouts of the street-hawkers advertising their junk food to the mild splashing waves flashing the golden-orange reflection of the waters ready to welcome the sun in, to joggers merrily chatting and panting through their way. _

_However, his eyes caught the rightfully unwanted attention of a certain couple, sitting silently in a comparatively isolated corner, snuggled close to each other and admiring the sunset. It wasn't on purpose that he had decided to pay a visit to the beach, as he never knew he would get to see them there. _

_But, he knew she loved beaches. He remembered seeing her staring at the sunset very often, sometimes alone, sometimes with him or sometimes with her friends. The cool breeze flowing through her curls and tickling her pretty face, the satisfied smile on her face, her soft, mild laughter in the company of her loved ones... everything about her which never failed to fill her heart with warmth._

_A sharp needle of pain stabbed at his chest, in contrast to the soothing atmosphere, as he saw the man's arm going across the girl's shoulders._

_And then, within a fraction of a second, everything else was blurred, as though being thrown out from the picture. His eyes focused on her. The familiar smile of satisfaction, of relief was naturally displayed on her face, along with the outline of her svelte figure reflected by the sunrays. _

_He stood relatively close to them, their backs facing him. Though they couldn't see him, he could hear every word they talked._

_And in contrast to the pain a person deeply in love would have gone through upon seeing his/her love indulging in romantic talks with someone else, he felt unnaturally and unexpectedly calm and serene. As though the turmoil inside him had pacified down._

_For the first time since his association with them, he found himself respecting the man he hated the most._

..

"So, thinking about any new chemical formula to invent? You know, like, how to make a man fall head over heels for you?" The goody-two-shoes Senior Inspector caressed her hair as he spoke, his face inches apart from hers. She grinned from ear to ear, as she stopped watching the sunset to stare into his eyes. "Why should I? I already have someone who's head over heels for me." She whispered, scooting closer to him, her dark curls teasing his face and he tucked them behind her ear, feeling her neck with his fingers.

"In fact, I think you should invent a formula to make girls fall flat just by existing!" She said a bit too casually, entwining her fingers with his, and he laughed. "Jealous?" His voice could be heard, his eyebrow raising. "Naah! Not at all!" A wide grin lifted the side of her lips, and the next instant her voice changed into a more confident tone. "Senior Inspector Abhijeet is _mine_! And the world better know it!" She spoke in a mock-threatening tone, laughing at herself.

Her dusky beautiful face reddened to the colour of a ripe strawberry as a soft kiss was planted on her cheek. "Sometimes, I wonder how many girls must be hating me for snatching you from them. Must be countless, right?" She teased her boyfriend in a mock-sarcastic tone, and he chuckled incredulously. "Seriously, Tarika? Do you actually bother about what the world thinks about you?" Abhijeet wanted to know.

"No, idiot! I have never bothered! I'm just saying." She winked, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

There was a pause for a few seconds, before Abhijeet spoke. "Listen, Tarika, I care a damn about what the entire universe thinks of you. Or about _us_, for that matter. All I know, and all I want to know, is that you are everything, yes, everything for me. It's you who have filled that void of loneliness in my life. It's you who have showed me the other side of my life – the much brighter and happier side – something I never thought I would ever see. It's you who have completed me. And I never want to be incomplete again! _Never_!" He finished with a deep breath, and she smiled, pulling his head closer to lay a kiss on his cheek. "I know!"

"Why do you need to worry about the world when I know what you are? When _you_ know what you are?" He asked, his voice clearly annoyed. "You better stay the same throughout, Mr. Senior Inspector! Else, you have _no_ idea what I am capable of." She pointed her finger at him threateningly, and laughed as she proceeded to pull his cheek much to the Senior Inspector's irritation.

..

'_Thank you, Mr. Goody-two-shoes! For giving her what she deserves!'_ He had silently told his rival, letting out a huge sigh of relief, as he walked away from them, vowing never to see her again.

He never imagined what she must have felt upon learning the truth about him. He _knew_ she would hate him. Hate him to the core.

And he _wanted_ that. He wanted her to hate him from the bottom of his heart. Because that was the only way she would be happy with Abhijeet. Before it, before her happiness, nothing came and nothing had ever taken its place.

All these years, when he had joked with his accomplices about a term called as 'love at first sight', he never had the slightest of idea the joke would turn up on him one day.

For the time in his life, he regretted it. He regretted living the past few months he had lived. He regretted all, except for one thing. That smile.

That evening, when he felt light at heart and easier at life, he wasn't surprised by the fact that the reason behind it was her smile. Getting to his feet and walking toward his lone companion, he poured a peg in his favourite glass the first time in those months, grinning happily at it. Teasing it at having taken the second position for companionship in loneliness in his life. The first would always be her smile. Always. Until the very end.

He waited for the Whisky to run though his veins, enjoying it thoroughly that evening. He loved it, everything around him. More than anything, he loved the scar.

A broad grin formed on his lips as he felt it that evening. The scar of identity. _His_ identity.

..

**~~ The End ~~**

..

**A/N :** Each time, I end up with my disclaimer of "This chapter is so bad". But, this time, I am NOT going to repeat that. Because I loved, yes, LOVED this chapter. For me, this is the best in the series. Writing it actually gave me the inner peace, which I searching for quite a long time. I have taken extreme pains for it, in spite of knowing how much hatred and abuses I am going to get for it, from all the possible directions. So, I don't care what the world thinks about it.

I haven't antagonized Abhijeet and neither do I love/hate him or Abhirika. So, Abhirika/Tarika haters, this is what I wanted it to be, and this is what it IS. Whether you are able to deal with it or not, I don't give a damn. If you want to give me bullshit about this, your review is so NOT welcome.

I do not regret the way Rocky's characterization has been shown here. Also, I don't care if people completely choose to ignore Rocky's part (they were never interested in him, anyways), and concentrate only on Abhirika's part. There is a reason why I included the Abhirika part, and it's not because I have suddenly, out of nowhere, started to like Abhirika. That is too difficult, now. Besides, the basic purpose was to show Rocky being satisfied seeing Tarika happy with Abhijeet (as is the theme of the series), so Abhirika shippers can chill.

The conversation between Abhijeet and Tarika is a part of the flashback, but I have purposely not written it in Italics, for reasons known only to me. Some lines have been taken from PR's several stories, so thanks and sorry for that, PR. :-P

Haters, I am ready!


End file.
